When It Rains....

I looked back over this blog, there's so little by way of happy posts. I'm like the Eeyore of the small blogosphere I hang out in. Everything is dark, depressing and miserable. It's like I never have anything good to say.
But I tend to only write things here that I need to, mainly because I don't have the time to blog much and I need to vent. Good things don't require venting.

But I will start by saying I've just returned from a fabulous weekend with fellow bloggers Doc, Spooky, Ergo Jinglebollocks and Flannery. They are my bright spot, one of the last clues left that I can be happy and relaxed and lead a normal life.

Now it's back to the hell that is the rest of my existence. Starting with my garnishments. I owe income taxes to the city, and they finally decided to come after me for them by way of two wage garnishments. I live paycheck to paycheck, so taking that money from me means other bills I need to pay to survive don't get paid. i met with the magistrate of the city after the first garnishment notice came and tried to appeal it by entering into a contract with a consumer credit counseling service to pay them. He agreed to hold off the garnishment as long as I continued to make the payments through the credit counselours.
The second appeal I wasn't so lucky. I was supposed to meet with the magistrate, so I expected the same result. He got stuck in an eviction hearing, so after 4 minutes of waiting, a court official comes out to tell me the judge will do my garnishment hearing. I pretty much begged to just reschedule with the magistrate, but they insisted the judge would do the hearing.
I've been in front of Lakewood's judge before, for the same reason. The police gave me a ticket for warming up my car in zero-degree temperatures this past winter. I couldn't pay that ticket fast enough, so I had to go in front of the same judge and he could give a rat's ass if it's the food off my table for something ridiculous. He wants his money. So I knew going in front of the judge on this would get me nowhere.
And I was right. He held up the garnishment. My luck with the magistrate on the first garnishment was not to be.
At the same time, I get a shut-of notice from the gas company and a bill for over $4,000. I was originally on a Percentage-of-Income payment plan, had been the entire time I've lived here. After several conversations I find out I was kicked off of the PIP plan in 2009. Since then, I've only been paying my PIP amount, which was apparently not enough.
I talked to several people at the gas company and the public-assistance programs about getting back onto PIP, but your bill has to be completely paid before you can get back on it, and the fact that I never knew for two years gave me no leverage whatsoever. If the bill is over $4000 now, it had to be about $2000 back in 2009, so why did it take them TWO YEARS to send me a shut-off notice? Back then, I could have done something about it. Now, there's no chance. That fact also got me no leverage. The gas company wants $500 per month, which is more than my rent.
So after several appointments and a multitude of phone calls, I am scheduled for shutoff on June 7. Being the middle of summer, heat isn't an issue, but I can't cook and and I can't take a shower with no gas. It renders my place almost unlivable.
So I have to move. I managed to get a neighbour who will let me use her place to cook and take a shower, I'll pay her $25 a week for the privilege, but I can't abuse it, which means I need to be gone by the end of June.
I've started looking on craigslist and various roommate websites to sell myself out as a roomie. It's been a lot of work. I am literally busy from the time I wake up til the time I go to sleep. In addition to my normal life of going to work every day and maintaining the house, cooking, etc., I'm on the computer constantly. In one week, I've sent about 50 emails, made about 25 phone calls, scheduled 4 appointments, had one appointment already (the woman was nice but a little crazy and too much drama), and worryworryworry. I'm supposed to move the same month my wages are being garnished.
Fortunately I found someone who will buy my car, so I'll be able to use that money to move. But even that has to get complicated. I had a flat tire so I had a donut put on it, got a new tire and a neighbour offered to pop the new tire on over the weekend while I was in Canton. I get a phone call Friday; he says my back tire is now flat, so I have to get another new tire and replace both before I can sell the car to this girl. Can't nothing be easy right now?
In the midst of all this, I had $275 hacked out of my bank account (got it all back), and I had to take the GRE to get into grad school.
Low pressure. Ha.
I still haven't gotten the accept-or-deny letter from the university but it's supposed to come this week. With everything else that's happened, I'm not feeling very hopeful.
Amazingly, my stress levels aren't that high. I am severely stressed out, but the head-swimming, brain zaps, and panic attacks I was experiencing when things first started to go downhill after my thyroid problem aren't coming back. I'm not snapping at anyone, I'm not irritable, my mood is fine. I should be a basket case right now, many people in my situation would be in tears all the time, losing their minds. I'm not freaking out, I'm just doing what I have to do to work it out step by painful step. The initial hit that I was losing my home was quite shocking and overwhelming, but after a couple hours, I was making phone calls and starting the process of figuring out where to go.
I wanted to leave this shitty place anyway. The landlord doesn't take care of it, never has. One of the biggest problems is in the basement. Old pipes back up and leak. rather than replacing them, the landlord calls a plumber to clean them out. By then, there's raw sewage all over the basement and the smell seeps up through the furnace vents into where the rest of us have to live. Once every few months I come home to an apartment that literally smells like shit for a week at a time. I've been talking about moving since I started the path back to school. I've wanted out for years, but I could never afford to go anywhere else, unless I roommated, which wasn't a very appealing option, especially after so many years of living on my own. But as I've aged, I've found that I wouldn't mind living with other people, that it seems exciting, you have a set of built-in friends. Once I got sick, living alone became a lot less appealing, I'm now sometimes afraid to be by myself, fearing that if something happens to me, no one is around to know.
So maybe this is a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. Maybe it's just time to go. I've been looking at places on the other side of town, far away from everything I know. This is almost a new adventure, but with some bad timing and the most difficult of circumstances. Doesn't mean it won't work out, I had just hoped there was an easier way to do it rather than to be forced out in a months time from the home I've been in for the last thirteen years.
So, off we go! Wish me luck, cross your fingers. If I get accepted to school I'm sure I'll feel more positive about the future, but for now, it's bleak and miserable and I come June 7 I can't take a goddamn shower or cook in my own home. I won't end up on the street or in a homeless shelter, so there's the good news. Everything else is a crapshoot.